Tuesday, March 31, 2009

TRANSITION: Belligerent Determination

How can you find balance when you have to focus on one major task?

In the last week I have spent much of my energy and focus on sorting through hundreds of possible apartments, scheduling time to view them, packing up my home and trying to maintain some semblance of routine. It has not been easy.

I have also spent time in meditation and quiet reflection, with the purpose of surrendering myself to this situation and handing it over to a greater power – waiting for Divine intervention or inspiration. I don’t appear to have received that quite yet, but I am hopeful and remain attentive!! I still find myself feeling moments of panic and my ability to hold on to my faith wanes at times as the move date looms. The main source of this sense of foreboding is that everywhere I turn I am reminded that proof of a steady income is required to rent, and of course, I opted out of that when I decided to start working on my new career path.

Is it any wonder I am questioning everything!

I use my meditation to quieten my ego and tap into the power of creative visualization. To remember to believe in myself, and in my power to create anything I choose. I am striving, day-to-day, to create balance between what needs to be done on a practical level, what needs to be done on an intuitive level, and what is important to do regardless of other distractions – namely the work I do to help others. All this is vital in creating the life I want.

In the middle of the packing, of apartment searching and viewing, and the job search (a stable income – not necessarily back in the corporate world), it is vital to my soul to include time on my Intuitive Counseling/Life Coaching work. It is also essential to balance out each day with fun, laughter and light-heartedness.

I haven’t mastered it yet. Hey, I haven’t even come close to ensuring all elements are given equally proportionate time. But I’m working on it.

It helps that I am stubborn, bull-headed and an eternal optimist. It helps that I have learnt to raise my voice at the Universe, hurl out my indignations and frustrations, and then in turn, humbly be grateful for all that I do have right now.
Despite feeling (at times) that this is too hard to overcome, I refuse to give up on my dream, or be derailed. I will do whatever it takes to make this work – not just fix it, but do it differently to create a joy-filled, purposeful life. There is so much I want to do, what I already see myself doing, and in order to achieve and sustain this, it requires a certain sense of belligerent determination.

It would seem that I have ample of that in reserve.

And that’s a blessing in itself.

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