I stumbled across an entry in my journal from November 2007 and was surprised to see that I had the presence of mind (or awareness) to recognize that the demands on my time from work and others, had left me depleted and in need of simplifying my lifestyle.
With great gusto I declared that I was reclaiming my life and reconnecting with what would feed my soul, and clearing out what no longer served my highest good. I was going to take better care of myself, physically, spiritually, emotionally and ….
Well, here I am almost two years later and I wonder how it is that I had such insight back then, and still did so little to support any real change. Perhaps, more accurately, how I had managed to stop listening so quickly. The voice of my ego chimed in (but not for long) and wondered what was so different this time round, and how many more “a-ha” moments was I going to have, followed by declarations to instigate change with wholehearted determination, only to then quietly petered off as misplaced good intentions. Ignoring the obvious baiting from my ego, I chose (instead) to ponder the now obviously orchestrated chaos the Universe had brought to bear in my life starting in July last year.
A-ha, I thought – with a grin to accompany my appreciation of exactly how brilliant the Universe was – NOW I am beginning to fully comprehend that my invitation to the Universe had truly delivered a sequence of events designed not only to create chaos in my life, but also to ensure that the awareness I had experienced previously would be remembered, therefore ensuring my actions this time would be different.
The chaos and challenges that the Universe has placed on my path have allowed me to examine my life, and many of my choices in a new light, and my awareness and desire for a different life and outcome, have provided me with new insight into how I make those choices. I already know that many of my recent decisions have come about from either consciously choosing a different option/reaction or from a place of remembering a more mindful solution.
But what tells me more than anything else that this time is different is the deep inner knowing that simple says to me, and to my ego … it is.
And that’s all I need to know.